Normal flirting: Hey babe you're so pretty and sweet.
Me: If you were a potato, you'd be a nice potato.
emilyisobsessed: #if there was a movie of my life this would be the opening theme
Anonymous asked: hey guess what? Cinnamon Buns!!!!!!
Me: Why is that person staring at me.
Me: Omg what would happen if a man just burst in the room with a gun. I would totally be the heroic person who sacrifices themselves for others.
Me: No I don't know the answer to this question. Oh god, the teacher's going to call on me. My hand is not raised. Oh god oh god oh god, leave me alone. Act busy, just act busy. Abort mission, I repeat, abort mission.
Me: My stomach just growled. When the fuck is lunch.
Me: We should make a class Hunger Games. Where everyone dies.
Me: Fuck I wish I studied..
Me: No, seriously, never open your mouth again.
Me: Ew, my teacher has children. They're sexually active. I wonder when they had sex for the first time. I wonder if they did drugs as a teenager. I totally bet they did.
Me: Yeah, no, if a man walked in with a gun, I totally wouldn't sacrifice myself for these idiots. I would hide under my desk and tell him to just take them all.
Me: Seriously, it's only been a minute.
Me: I will never use this shit in my life.
its funny because people think im quiet but im just listening to everyones conversations and figuring out your weaknesses and ill use them against you to get further in life because i hate everyone
And then God created Jared Padalecki
God: I am going to make him extremely attractive
Jared: Yes good
God: With perfect hair
Jared: I like this
God: And he shall tower above all men
Jared: Wow thanks bro
God: All his shirts will be disgusting
Jared: Wait what
God: His taste for shirts will be regarded by all as terrible
Jared: God what the fuck man
God: He shall love all things patterned and floral
Moral of the Story - You can't have it all, bro
lol i suck at art wow welcome to the club idek what i was thinking delete later just an in-class doodle lol I don’t even know what I was trying to do here, I’ll delete it later wow you guys suck
no cough syrup you are not ‘grape flavoured’ have you ever tasted a grape you taste like death and the tears of small children not fucking grape
galacticwizard asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
galacticwizard asked: girls call me names but like miley said i cant be tamed
Anonymous asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
she-rocker: our bodies can turn chocolate milk into pee think about that
It's so easy to make fandoms have feelings
Band of Brothers: Bastogne
X-Men FC: Cuba
Tiger and Bunny: Fried Rice
Harry Potter: Always
Hunger Games: Rue
Avengers: Civil War
glamydia: I NEED BACKUP
me during shower time: What is my mission here on earth? What would have happened if Hitler got killed before he started the war? What if is there's a bigger force controlling us right now?
me almost falling asleep: I think I've solved the mystery of Atlantis and the cure for cancer and starving in Africa and the problems for all bad things in the universe
me during the day: lol how do I spell house?